I’m Back.



I have been trying to write a blog post for the past two weeks since my finals ended. Actually, I have been trying even before that. But for some reason, I am unable to sit down and write down a proper post which explains why I have been missing for so long and what went down while I was gone.

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Happiness is not my forte.

Happiness: noun
  1. the state of being happy.

Sounds pretty simple but this state of mind is very hard to acquire. And once you do acquire it, the paranoia of losing it takes over your brain. It’s kinda the same with me. Lately, I have felt scared to feel happy because I know, in some corner of my mind, that it’ll not last. Something or the other happens and everything comes crashing down. It really hurts. You just feel so empty at times. I am known to be able to handle a lot of physical pain. But what about emotional pain? I honestly don’t know. I just try to ignore the pain and the sadness for so long that it kinda keeps building up inside until it hits you like a tidal wave. The emotions just sweep you away. And as I lay in my bed, crying my eyes out, a hand over my mouth so as to not make any sound and the other on my chest because it hurts so much, I just can’t handle it. My life has been so confusing lately that I don’t even know whom I should be confronting about my problems.

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2016: The good VS. The bad.

2016 has proven to be a mixed bag for me. I had my fair share of ups and downs, the good days and bad days. To be honest, I really don’t know what to think of it. Great things happened to me; I got closer to wonderful friends, won one of the most prestigious awards in my school, got into high school and most of the times managed not to die. On the other hand, I basically flunked Maths, witnessed Donald Trump become the President of United States Of America, tolerated my dramatic teachers and saw thousands of people die all around the world.

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