People Kill.

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A month back, I wrote about how cool it would be if weapons disappeared from the face of the earth. But I realized that it’s people who kill, not weapons. We have created them and we are the ones using them. And if we are not using weapons, I don’t think we are falling short of other methods. The thing is that we don’t even need to die physically to actually be dead. You could just die emotionally. It is as bad as actually being dead. Maybe even worse. Because the pain has numbed you; you are unfeeling, bruised and battered but still there. Still hanging on by a thread. After all, it’s people who kill.

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What if there were no weapons?

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A few days back when I was trying to fall asleep, this random thought crossed my mind; What if there were no weapons? Like what if they just disappeared from the face of the earth and everyone forgot how to make them again? The memory of the process just wiped off their brains? No more shotguns, and AK-47s and nuclear bombs. And no matter how hard the people tried they would not be able to remember what you need to do to make a weapon. What I think is that if we cannot create peace by preaching people then maybe something as miraculous as this is what is needed to enforce peace. Because right now all these so-called adults and political leaders can do is basically ban people and categorize certain communities under these narrow-minded labels that have been created. All that we are able to achieve by this is fuel more hatred among people because apparently, every hijabi is a terrorist, every black guy is a thug and every refugee is a criminal.

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Inspiration comes from the weirdest places.

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When the word inspiration comes to my mind, the first thing I think of is a great personality or maybe a life changing experience. These feel like fitting things that should invoke a sense of inspiration in a person. But I realized that it does not necessarily have to be those things that inspire a person. It could be the smallest of things that can possess the ability to inspire in you. It could be a person you saw on the television, an article you read in the newspaper, a song you heard on the radio or even a single drop of rain sliding down a window pane. That rhymed. Anyways, going back to the point, what I mean to say is that you don’t need to experience extraordinary things to actually do extraordinary things. Look around and maybe you will find something or someone who makes you feel like you can do anything and that you have the capabilities that can change the world.

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Happiness is not my forte.

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Happiness: noun
  1. the state of being happy.

Sounds pretty simple but this state of mind is very hard to acquire. And once you do acquire it, the paranoia of losing it takes over your brain. It’s kinda the same with me. Lately, I have felt scared to feel happy because I know, in some corner of my mind, that it’ll not last. Something or the other happens and everything comes crashing down. It really hurts. You just feel so empty at times. I am known to be able to handle a lot of physical pain. But what about emotional pain? I honestly don’t know. I just try to ignore the pain and the sadness for so long that it kinda keeps building up inside until it hits you like a tidal wave. The emotions just sweep you away. And as I lay in my bed, crying my eyes out, a hand over my mouth so as to not make any sound and the other on my chest because it hurts so much, I just can’t handle it. My life has been so confusing lately that I don’t even know whom I should be confronting about my problems.

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My relationship with Math.

book-funny-math-numbers-favim-com-2160809Three words: I despise Math.

You can use all the synonyms of hate that are out there to describe my feelings for Math. We both have been arch enemies for quite some time now. The last time I got a perfect score in Math was back in 5th grade or maybe even 4th grade. I don’t know for sure. But for a fact, I’m in 9th grade now. The only reason why I hate Math is that I’m not interested in the subject itself. I’m pretty sure if I actually liked the subject I could have been doing well. But since I don’t, I don’t bother about it. Math is the bane of my existence. I’m that kind of girl who likes History and English. Algebra and geometry are not my cup of tea. But the thing is that I have no way out. It’s compulsory to study Math till 10th grade so… That’s my life. I practice hard and try to score well in my tests so it’s really frustrating when I don’t get results even after putting in so much effort. Half of the problems in my life have been caused my Math.

I mean like: THANKS, DUDE! I ACTUALLY LOVE THE FACT THAT I HAVE TO LEARN 12 THEOREMS! I SHOULD GET A CUPCAKE! MY GOD, HOW THOUGHTFUL OF YOU!

I’m just waiting for this year to zip by so that I can be free from the atrocities of Math and finally be able to study the subjects that I really want to. Until then I just have to hope for the best and probably not die. What about you guys?

Thank you for reading!!

Bailey.

Being Her.

 

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‘Being Her’ is a novella that I’ve started writing on Wattpad. It’s about a girl who is tired of her life and all she wishes is to live and have the life of her namesake. It describes her journey on how she learned to accept herself, being happy in her own skin and meeting new people who helped her through her problems.

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